Once we came home everything clicked! I was a dad, Laura was a mom and we were parents. I found myself staring at him while he slept, observing his every breath. This was my baby boy! Everyday when the swelling in his face would go down a little more, we could see more of each of us in him.
Now there are two things that most people told me about having kids that I heard repeatedly. One, was that having a baby would take you to a level of love that you cannot describe and have never experienced. The parent to child love would be one that cannot be compared to another. Two, was that having a baby would literally consume all of your time and energy. I was excited to experience the new love that I heard so much about but was really skeptical of the time consuming part of caring for a child. I knew it would require a lot, but how much? Now that we are in our new roles as parents, I can safely say all of it. I took a little more than a month off total from the fire department to stay home and care for Micah and I thought I would have done so much more. I figured I could knock out a couple of things off my to-do list like re-caulk the bathrooms, go to some doctors appointments that I have been putting off, touch up some walls, and so on. All I pretty much got to do was go to the doctors. Both Laura and I have been so busy, or at least it feels like it because we're so sleep deprived. What is sleep for that matter? It's been so long since we got a full nights rest. Micah started off the first few weeks, waking up every 3-4 hours to eat or have his diaper changed. But that quickly changed to about every hour on the hour and that's nights too. The pediatrician told us that it was normal and it was due to a growth spurt. So that lasted about 4 days straight and it was rough. Im used to getting up at night, we run probably an average of 3 calls every night at my firehouse with each call lasting 30 minutes to an hour, but day after day took it's toll on us. One night about 3 in the morning I was holding Micah while Laura prepped herself to nurse. I normally lay him flat on my chest and pat his back or his butt to help ease him while he waits impatiently (just like his dad). I ended leaning back and fell asleep with him on my chest. I didn't realize that at some point I handed him to Laura so she could feed him and laid on my back, patting my chest thinking he was still on there. Laura just laughed and said "he's not on your Chest anymore!"
Micah is pretty fussy when he doesn't get his way. He does an escalating level of shrieks when we don't give in or don't satisfy his demands. For example he hates his bassinet, or better said the act of being placed in it. When he's asleep ill sometimes place him in there and I can get a few things done but once he wakes up and realizes where he is at, he shakes his hands wide and out and yells to be picked up. The same thing goes for his feeding. We go back and forth between bottle feeding and nursing and he lost total interest in nursing. The milk comes easily and without effort from the bottle, while he has to actually do some work when he is nurse fed. When he couldn't latch on right, he would
Shake his head and make a funny, angry goat noise. He lost that battle and is nursing fine now.
He loves to be held and although it is sometimes inconvenient and tiring, someone told me today that I need to take advantage while he still wants to be held. This is true and I see the realization of the fact that he is growing everyday. He has jumped up in diaper and onesie sizes and is becoming more and more alert everyday. This is where that love that only a parent would understand. Even though we are tired and sleepy all the time (made evident by bags under our eyes) we are enjoying every minute of parenthood.
